You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
