how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
