Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
