Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
