Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
