Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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