people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
