Girls should come with a carfax report
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
