This girl is more easily done than said...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
