I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
