She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
