i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
