morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
