i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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