id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
