i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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