walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
