using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
