So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
