That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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