don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
