What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
