They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
