LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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