Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
