Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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