i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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