was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
