its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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