so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize