is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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