I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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