We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
