I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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