took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
