when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
