What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
