Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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