genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
