Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
