My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
