So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
