Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's never too late to be topless.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
