His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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