Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
