Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
