Nicole vs. Life
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
