He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
