My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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