Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
