I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
