I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
