Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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