I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
