I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
