Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
