Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
