Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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