i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
