That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
