marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
