Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize