At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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